As I innocently gathered my things at work to head home this evening I placed my laptop into the brief case, put on my jacket, headed out of my cube – and there it sat. It was staring me down. Mocking me, laughing at me, taunting me – like a bully on a schoolyard. And without speaking, it did the cruelest thing of all – it reminded me of my various chocolate related addictions.
It looked uncomplicated – clad in gray and plastic – sitting there in the corner. For the most part, it minded its own business, got its job done, never disappointed me. But I realized this wasn’t just any can that sat next to me every day. It’s a receptacle for trash – and it’s got plenty of garbage on me. Because inside this can sits evidence…evidence of my bad habits, of my number of trips to the vending machine, of my infatuation with Caffeine Free Diet Pepsi, of the reason I should buy stock in Starbucks. Oh yes, it most definitely lives up to its name.
But I decided not to deal with the can tonight. Nope. I decided to head home and not think about the inconvenient truth. But as I tried to leave my cube, the can instantaneously grew to the size of a dumpster – I couldn’t seem to get past it to reach the exit. It had me trapped.
Finally I realized – I had to deal with it – I had to face my fears and look inside. At first glance I was convinced there was some type of conspiracy. That people from throughout the office would walk by my cube with THEIR garbage and deposit it in MY can. But what I found was appalling – horrific – and unnerving. Everything in there – from wrapper to Dixie plate to soda can – I recognized. All that trash was mine.
I comforted myself with the fact that our maintenance crew only emptied the garbage every other day. Whew – I caught my breath. I was actually staring at TWO days worth of nastiness. But there it sat – and inside were things that seemed to fall into categories that could describe me. Chocolate, Starbucks, Caffeine.
WARNING: The following is not meant for the faint of heart, the very young, the very old, my Mother, those on the South Beach Diet – and most importantly – potential suitors.
So here’s the tally – what I could see at least – because Lord knows I wasn’t actually going venture in:
It looked uncomplicated – clad in gray and plastic – sitting there in the corner. For the most part, it minded its own business, got its job done, never disappointed me. But I realized this wasn’t just any can that sat next to me every day. It’s a receptacle for trash – and it’s got plenty of garbage on me. Because inside this can sits evidence…evidence of my bad habits, of my number of trips to the vending machine, of my infatuation with Caffeine Free Diet Pepsi, of the reason I should buy stock in Starbucks. Oh yes, it most definitely lives up to its name.
But I decided not to deal with the can tonight. Nope. I decided to head home and not think about the inconvenient truth. But as I tried to leave my cube, the can instantaneously grew to the size of a dumpster – I couldn’t seem to get past it to reach the exit. It had me trapped.
Finally I realized – I had to deal with it – I had to face my fears and look inside. At first glance I was convinced there was some type of conspiracy. That people from throughout the office would walk by my cube with THEIR garbage and deposit it in MY can. But what I found was appalling – horrific – and unnerving. Everything in there – from wrapper to Dixie plate to soda can – I recognized. All that trash was mine.
I comforted myself with the fact that our maintenance crew only emptied the garbage every other day. Whew – I caught my breath. I was actually staring at TWO days worth of nastiness. But there it sat – and inside were things that seemed to fall into categories that could describe me. Chocolate, Starbucks, Caffeine.
WARNING: The following is not meant for the faint of heart, the very young, the very old, my Mother, those on the South Beach Diet – and most importantly – potential suitors.
So here’s the tally – what I could see at least – because Lord knows I wasn’t actually going venture in:
Starbucks Cup(s)
Twix wrapper(s)
Diet Pepsi Can(s)
Junior Mints Box(es)
Wendy’s salad container(s)
Wendy’s potato container(s)
Starbucks drink holder
Milk Carton
Paper plates
Napkins
Orange peels
Half an apple
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